"Is that pornography?"Realising honesty would probably serve her better this time, she risked aglance over her shoulder and shook her head. "No, mama. One of my friendsis a model. She likes to show off sometimes." Kiki hoped their femininitywas passable enough in her mother's eyes to not raise even more difficultquestions."I do not want you looking at such filth. I shall be having words withyour father. If this disgusting behaviour continues you will have nocomputer." With that said, she turned and left Kiki standing in shock inthe doorway. "And no more locked doors, not in my house."The words were in her throat, burning to escape. Kiki wanted to screamthem out. Instead she swallowed them. Again and again she pushed themdown, transforming it into a hot ball of resentment in her belly.Turning to retreat back into her cocoon she saw her older brother lookingout through the crack in the door to his own room, smiling cruelly. Hesaw the image on her screen and laughed quietly to himself.. I was sorry I missed it.”“Hopefully, next year,” I said. “So, what shall we talk about today?”“I suppose what you’ve discovered about being a man. And I don’t mean the fact that you have different genitalia than I do!”I chuckled, “You noticed when we had our clothes off, did you?”She laughed, “I knew before that, I just hadn’t seen the real thing on an adult. It’s not quite the same as changing a baby’s diaper or looking at drawings in the health book.”“That’s for darn sure!” I chuckled.“Yes, yes, you got your eyeful! AND enjoyed it. So? Being a ‘real’ man?”The conversation went along similar lines to the ones I’d had recently both at the Rap Session and privately, on how I was discovering just what it mean to be a human being, not just a man.“In a sense,” Michelle said, “it’s closer to a woman’s role of nurturing, than a traditional man’s role as breadwinner and guardian.”“I’d say so, yes,” I said, “but without becoming a wimp or a doormat. Having strength of character, but knowing.
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